Mood: Sore throat. T.T
Music: Kimi no Tame ni Dekiru Koto (sixth day version) -- Gackt

Rae: This isn’t going to be a big update and I don’t really feel up to continuing the whole Tokyo thing right now, but I still wanted to update, so uh. Yeah.

I drew something.

I hadn’t planned on drawing period.

I don’t really draw anymore.

I was sitting in the family room at about five in the morning yesterday, getting ready to watch some movie on HBO on Demand. And funny thing was, someone had left a pencil sitting on the coffee table.

A dull crappy pencil with a tiny eraser.

And I suddenly felt compelled to draw for reasons unknown to me.

So I grabbed a piece of printer paper from my printer, grabbed the pencil and abandoned my movie.

I sat on the computer chair, grabbed my driver’s learning manual (that I’ve been neglecting to study...) put the paper on said manual, propped the book with paper on my knees and began to draw.

I had no idea who I was drawing.

But, I knew when I wasn’t doing something right.

No the hair should be longer here, no the nose should be smaller, no, his face is more rounded...

Things like that.

After I had finally finished the picture, I sat and stared.

“Who is this?” I asked myself.

I stared, knowing that this was definitely someone familiar to me.

And it suddenly hit me like a semi truck going 120mph.

“Oh my God. This is Malba.”

I drew Malba.

And no, I don’t mean like the crappy, horrible pictures I have had of him before. I don't mean like the ones I've stared at and thought about how much I've despised.

This is different.

When I dream about my muses, this is really basically what he looks like.

It’s Malba.

It kinda blew me away actually.

So I scanned it into my computer and then transferred the pic over to my laptop.

I fixed up the pic in my new Paint Shop Pro 8.

I showed it to Mom and Jiro.

They were surprised.

Mom loved it.

And Jiro was really, really surprised. Jiro and I both know that I’m not a very good artist. It doesn’t hurt my feelings or anything, we are just both realistic. He’s not going to pretend something is great when it’s not. He’s nice but frank.

For the first time ever, Jiro really liked one of my drawings.

“This... This is REALLY good Rae.”

O.o;;;

The thing is, it’s really not in my usual drawing style. Period.

I went about drawing it different and I did it different.
The nose, the eyes, the eyebrows, the neck and shoulders. I’ve never drawn shoulders like this before.

I mean, it’s just odd.

I wasn’t even planning on drawing anything and then suddenly, there I was with a finished sketch of Malba.

It was just really weird.

So, to end this ridiculously long ramble, I’ve posted Malba’s new picture to his profile on my website.

It doesn’t match the old theme with buildings but I don’t care.

Because.... I really kind of like this picture.

It portrays Malba’s overall feminine look and his prettiness fairly well I think. Plus...he looks sad. Which is perfect. Because this is a glimpse of what Malba really looks like without the bitchiness and stuff he hides behind.

I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s no masterpiece or anything. I mean hello, let’s be realistic here. It’s still me, the lousy lefty who can’t even write half way decent, not to mention draw. (Not to say all lefties have lousy handwriting. But I happen to be one of those ones who do. *sigh*) But... I think it’s better than anything I’ve ever drawn before. Even just the sketch version. I really like it. I’ve NEVER said that before about any of my lousy attempts at art.

Now sure, I can still see things wrong with it. I can. But, overall I still like it. Which just wigs me out.

I fixed it in Paint Shop to look like one of those old photos... You know the type I mean?

Anyway. It’s sepia toned and kind of sad. I like it.

It also shows that he looks pretty young. Looks can be deceiving...

So if you’d like, please check it out. Just go to his profile on my website. I’m too lazy to make a link or post it on here.

Click the Broken Innocence link at the top of the page. XD

...

Well. I think that’s all I wanted to say.
I really don’t feel very good. My throat is aching and my ear is throbbing. I think I’m going to get off of here now.

...Now... If I could just draw the rest of my muses like this. Then I'd be happy. Because I hate the rest of my pics of my muses too. *sigh*

Laters, neh?

Rae.

PS: You know what’s really scary? I freaking dreamed what’s going to happen next in this whole Tokyo arc thing. I actually dreamed the next part out. I just don’t feel like writing it right now. Heh. I even dream about my muses. I’m so weird. And possibly immature. All well. XD